 Am I Bisexual
 "Being bisexual doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night." ~ Woody Allen.
So...You think you might be bisexual? We have some articles that can help you to consider what to do about these feelings, and maybe even do some experimenting to find out if this lifestyle is for you. But this one is deisgned to get you thinking about some of the wider implications and attitudes associated with this lifestyle choice. These days it seems like our society is, paradoxically, both far more tolerant and open about sexuality, and at the same time very Puritanical and repressed. Part of the reason for this is due to the changing political and religious populations of our nation (a subject it's not really appropriate to get into in this article!) But it si also true that media representations of sexuality are far more complex and reflective of reality. There are many more support groups and resources for people involved in non-traditional lifestyles, including homosexuality, bisexuality, transgendered sexuality, polyamoury (having a number of partners in addition to one's primary relationship),voluntary celibacy, and many other choices. This trend towards openness and education is a very positive thing, especially when we consider that in the past, homosexuals lived in fear of being considered criminals, or that teenage suicide rates among teens questioning their sexual orientation used to be much higher than they are now. Although we still have a long way to go to find complete tolerance and acceptance for all peoples and ways of life, there is definitely a positive trend. Gay marriage is now legal in Massachusetts and Canada, and a number of states are considering legislation which will make these same sex unions legal. With this new openness, however, there may come increased difficulty in how we sort out our own identities. Some people may choose to identify as a different sexual orientation at different times in their lives, and one of these orientations is bisexuality. I remember the days when, among the various homosexual activism communities (both gay and lesbian), people who identified themselves as bisexual were sometimes viewed with suspicion or disdain. Some gays who had gone to great trouble and sometimes personal risk to come out of the closet resented the idea that a bisexual could "pass" among both communities. It was also believed that bisexuals were actually homosexuals who did not want to commit to a homsexual identity or lifestyle because of the social stigma atached to it.
Even though research studies have shown (among them the work of sexuality pioneer Alfred Kinsey in the 1940s) that most people have had sexual experiences with people of both genders, many people are uncomfortable with their homosexual urges. There are many stereotypes, myths and just plain false information associated with this, perhaps because even in this age of sexual openness people are still afraid of being branded with a socially-damaging label. For example, among men, it is more or less accepted that adolescents will experiment with homosexual activity, simply because young males are so sexually potent and driven towards any sexual activity. Among women who experiment, there is a myth that some (heterosexual) women turn to other women for sexual comfort because they have been treated badly by men. It has also been siad that those who identify as bisexual have even greater problems adjusting to this than "straight" men or women who decide they are gay, because there is still a fair amount of prejudice towarsd bisexuals within both straight and gay communities; although this has gotten better in recent years withthe formation of more support networks and increased amounts of resources on the internet.
Some of the following myths have been applied to bisexuality, according to an article on the Religious Tolerance website (at www.religioustolerance.org). The following information is taken from their very informative article on bisexuality:
Everyone is bisexual: This does not appear to be true. Kinsey found that only a very small minority of adults identify themselves as bisexual on his 7 level rating scale. His team found that most people were rated at either 0 (purely heterosexual; attracted only to members of the opposite gender) or 6 (purely homosexual; attracted only to members of the same sex.)
Only about 2% of the adult population is bisexual: This depends upon your definition of the term "bisexual". "Research carried out at the Harvard School of Public Health, USA in 1994 found that 20.8% of the men and 17.8% of the women studied admitted to same-sex sexual attraction/behavior at some time in their lives." No data is available that predicts the percentage of the population who consider themselves to be bisexual, but have not acted on those feelings.
Nobody is bisexual: Prior to the mid-1880s, many gays and lesbians believed that there were only two sexual orientations: homosexual or heterosexual. One was either sexually attracted to the same sex or to the opposite sex. They regarded bisexuals as if they were really homosexuals who were not ready to come out of the closet. Since then, the vast majority of homosexuals and gay-positive groups have accepted bisexuality as a separate, legitimate sexual orientation. In reality, there are individuals who have identified themselves as bisexual throughout their entire adult life and who have had fulfilling sexual relationships with both men and women during their adult life.
Bisexuality is just a phase: For some it may be. For example, many gay males l attempt to avoid society's homophobia by attempting to develop a sexual relationship with a woman. A few even go so far as marrying. But such relationships are generally very short term; the individual remain homosexual. However, other individuals sincerely regard themselves to be permanently bisexual throughout their adult life.
Bisexuals are only satisfied if they have sexual partners of both genders: No. Bisexuals are attracted to both genders, but do not necessarily act on their feelings of attraction.
Bisexuals spread AIDS: Some believe that "bisexuals choose to be perverse, they spread the HIV virus with their indiscriminate sex lives, and they make a mockery of things such as marriage and the family." This is true, for some bisexuals. However, it is also true of some heterosexuals and homosexuals. In Africa, HIV is most commonly spread through heterosexual intercourse. In North America, it is spread most commonly through anal intercourse and the sharing of dirty intravenous needles -- practices done by persons of all sexual orientations. The solutions to the AIDS problem involves celibacy, or monogamy, and safer sex techniques. This is the "ABC" approach of Abstain from sex, or Be faithful and wear a Condom.
Bisexuals are equally attracted to both genders: Some believe that to be a bisexual, one must be sexually attracted to men and women equally. This is definitely not true. In the Kinsey scale described above, a person who is equally attracted to both men and women are a "3." Kinsey found many bisexuals who identify themselves as a 1, 2 (i.e. mainly attracted to members of the opposite gender), or a 4 or 5 (i.e. mainly attracted to members of the same gender). Many individuals, although attracted to both men and women, have a real preference.
Bisexuals are incapable of being monogamous: Many bisexuals have proven that this stereotype is wrong. A heterosexual male might be attracted to a substantial percentage of the approximately 1.5 billion adult women in the world. And yet, they are quite capable of committing themselves to a single partner. Similarly, a bisexual person might be attracted to a substantial percentage of the approximately 3 billion adult men and women in the world. Yet they are also capable of committing to single partner.
Bisexuals alternate genders in their relationships: There appears to be no basis for such a belief.
Bisexuals have the same problems as gays and lesbians: Not necessarily. Bisexuals who admit or act on their attraction to members of the same sex will be at the same risk as gays and lesbians of being victims of: gay bashing, being discriminated against in hiring, being firing from their job, being refused accommodation, losing custody of their children, etc. But there are many other factors to consider. For example, a bisexual who keeps their attraction to the same sex a secret can pass in society as a heterosexual and not be at risk of homophobia. Also, some openly bisexual individuals are also subjected to prejudice from the lesbian/gay community |
03-01-2007, 11:25 AM
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